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Top Ten Signs You Might Be a Mummy
If… Your day is over before it even begins. You forget to order ice in your iced coffee. You think a complete meal is two animal crackers and a sip of watered down grape juice. You haven’t gone to the...
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Caillou = The Worst
Before I became a parent, I was one of those annoying people who used to talk about what I would and wouldn’t let my hypothetical child do (don’t worry, we all do it). Well, not watching TV was on that...
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The Mayor of Poopville
Might as well be my new title. It’s not normal to pick up poo off the bathroom floor every day…or maybe it is if you’re me and you have two babies. I was so smug when I first started potty-training my...
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Another Birthday Letter
To Our Kooky Lil Bundle-of-Fun, Happy 3rd Birthday Lovey Bear! You might as well be turning 23 today instead of 3 because you’re just so grown up now. You are quite the little character, telling tales...
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Mint Condition
It would be foolish of me to have another baby just to create a beautiful birth announcement, but I’m pretty sure a lot of babies have been born for even more foolish reasons. After browsing through...
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April Showers Bring May Babies
When it’s your first baby shower, (as with your first wedding) I remember wanting everything to be perfect. Like ripped from the pages of a magazine perfect. And what is the first impression that any...
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A Tale of Sisterly Love
No one wants to share the spotlight especially when it’s the first-born and she’s losing her crown of Only Child. I worried how it would affect my daughter when our second one came along. All pushing...
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The Chachi Fairy Cometh
I finally did what I said I was going to do for ages now–get rid of the effing chachi (or pacifier for all you normal people out there). We kept finding excuses to put it off: we were going on vacation...
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Picture Perfect
It’s no surprise that my kids drive me crazy. They are the loudest, most demanding little soul-suckers that ever walked this earth. Couple that with my extreme fatigue and we’re just a shitstorm...
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Two Candles
Happy 2nd Birthday to our little Cheeto! My baby turns two today and that fact makes me want to cry both happy and sad tears simultaneously. Happy because she’s that much closer to getting out of...
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Making Memories
Memories have always been important to me, and now even more that I’m a parent. I’m always taking pictures of my kids, recording videos, trying to capture a specific moment in time. For what though? So...
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3 Candles
Dear S, Happy 3rd Birthday, darling girl! It seems impossible that you’re three years old already, yet here we are. Where does the time go? Probably the same place where my sanity and all the missing...
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Chip off the Ol’ Block
It’s when you see yourself in your children that you really start to worry for their future. I’m officially worried. My four year old is exactly like me; she’s a sensitive spitfire full of piss and...
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Memory Lane
Parenthood is the ultimate plot twist. It starts out as trying to protect a helpless little baby from the big bad world, providing everything she needs to survive until one day she turns into a clever,...
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Walking Boots
My father grew up walking the country roads of rural Georgia. He spent his childhood walking everywhere–to town, to school, to the neighbor’s farm that was miles away. He passed down his love of...
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Fun in the Sun
I don’t know what I was so worried about…traveling with kids is a piece of cake. Wait, did I say piece of cake? I meant, takes the cake, as in, takes every ounce of energy and patience you’ve got saved...
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Time Flies When You Don’t Want It To
This too shall pass is simply a polite way of saying you’re screwed for now and parenthood is an endless loop of waiting for things to pass. So basically, parenthood = you’re screwed. Math has never...
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Birthday Wishes
Dearest E, It’s here! Your favorite day of the year and one of my favorite days of my life…your birthday! Six years ago you came into our world and taught us the definition of happiness. You also...
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The Tooth Fairy is a Cheapskate!
If we’re going to have these ridiculous childhood characters like The Tooth Fairy then we, as parents, need to come to a consensus on what is an acceptable reward for teeth. I can’t have my daughter...
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For the Love of God Eat Your Dinner
If there was an award for world’s pickiest eater, I would’ve held the title when I was growing up. It drove my mom to the edge, and now my daughter is exactly the same. There are a handful of things...
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